ENTERTAINMENT UNLIMITED!!!... PART 2

Remember the shoe incident, well, it happened again this time on a normal candidate and guess who threw the shoe- a teacher who I think was super drunk. Also recently on my idiot box there was a piece of news showing people practicing shoe throwing on a dummy, trying to improve their throwing arm and aim. OMG!!!! right??

Moving on, another party released their manifesto (for all my good friends from other countries hold on to your chairs, in India we have already laughed our hearts out at this). The party's manifesto says that if they come into power they will abolish English medium schools, they will ban computers and (this you got to hear) they will take out all the modern machines used for agricultural purposes. You must be thinking, " You got to be kidding me". Well, I am not kidding and even though funny, this is not a joke.

The fun is not over yet, why they have said what they have said is because they think computer has increased unemployment and because of people passing from English medium, the ones passing from the mediums in regional languages are not at the same level (It is really amazing how uneducated people talk about education reforms). So, what they really mean to say is that two things that India is good at (IT and English) will be banned and we will not be able to compete with this world but definitely compete against one another. Good going, we now have one more reason to differentiate each other as if castes and religions were not enough.

So, In the end I would like to say this to,

The Drunk teacher: Way to go dude. I recently read this on a T-shirt "Reality is just an illusion caused due to lack of alcohol" not in your case though.
The people practicing shoe throwing: Thanks for taking my advice (refer- Entertainment Unlimited!!!- part 1)
The party with the manifesto: I think you are the ones feeling left out due to lack of education and if you really want to try and bring everyone at the same level provide English education to everyone. Raise the bar and not lower it.

ENTERTAINMENT UNLIMITED!!!

So, for all of you who think that U.S.A. is a super power and the most weirdest and the most bestest (I think I made that word up) things happen there.... Well, I have only one thing to say to you.....

U.S. we are no less (hey that rhymes, lousy but still)...

Anyways, If you people didn't hear let me tell you one of the Journalists today threw a shoe on our Home Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and he missed of course.....

Now this is what I call Westernization......

I suppose this is where Ram Sena (Pronounced- "Raam Say-na") people should come in and fight with the journalist for doing things the western way. Oh! Ya for all of you who do not know what Ram Sena is, well, they are the self proclaimed moral police of India who fight against Westernization and things like "The Pub Culture" and having girlfriends and boyfriends but mind you these people are not against Alcohol just against "The Pub Culture" (Going to the pubs and drinking- Specially Girls). I some how feel there is a political agenda behind it.....

Back to the shoe incident.....
Now, I will tell you what happens next. In all probability, the opposition will make an issue out of it. They will say that this is a shameful act but none the less they are happy that finally we are waking up and now we know which party to vote for....

Now, to the reason of the problem.......

Its election time in India. Elections in India are like reality television like big brother and big boss (Indian version of big brother) etc. The politicians are like contestants who try and degrade the other contestants and try to publicize themselves in every possible way. The latest example being the hate speech by Mr. Varun Gandhi a member of the opposition. I don't want to get into the details but I will say that the opposition and the ruling party both cashed in on it. The winner has to be Varun Gandhi as he got the publicity and came out, for many, as a fearless hero who is now fighting elections from jail.....

Its all a publicity stunt.... Isn't it?????

Lovely drama and amazing suspense. The best reality show......

Before ending this post I would like to say this to:

The Politicians: May be this applies to you- "लातों के भूत बातों से नहीं मानते " (Sense is beaten into those who don't listen to words)...

The Ram Sena- Get a life people...

The Journalist- Practice harder and Aim better the next time...

SEX AND THE INDIAN

Two people are sitting in a room, the room is dimly lit and love is in the air. Romantic music is playing. The guy takes the girl's hand and the girl turns her head sideways as if trying to shy away. The guy slowly kisses the hand and the girl closing her eyes does not move a muscle. The guy is all over her and they both slowly move towards the bed.....

All of a sudden everything becomes blur and the scene directly shifts to the next morning when the hero and the heroine are covered up in bed sheets.... This implies that they had sex by the way...
Did I just mention the S word???.........

Other ways of showing the art of making love in bollywood would be...
*Two birds sitting on a branch with their heads together. It looks as if they are making out (if birds do that, I don't really know)
*Two flowers meet head on, again, as if making out (I am sure plants don't do it that way)
*The scene shifts to a fire place or any other prop in the room (don't really know why)

You might be thinking what the.... hey, shhhh!!! you are not allowed to say that but do go on...

What I am trying to say is that in India still at some level we make a huge deal about sex. We are trying really hard to open up but we are not comfortable accepting it. We do it obviously (look at our population) and we like doing it (again look at our population) but we do not want to talk about it and we do not like anyone else talking about it....

Lets get back to the theatre in which this movie was running....

The audience watching, some teenagers eagerly waiting for something to happen get disappointed. The others who came with their families grow red with embarrassment and have a deep desire of getting sucked into their respective seats by some form of gravitational force....

Ok, I have been thinking that this might get a bit controversial so I will put a disclaimer.... These are purely and completely my thoughts and are not meant to offend anyone. I do not want people to sue me and definitely don't want people to kick my a** or boycott me. If you don't like it please take it as lightly as you can. If you think this offends the values you were born with, I am sorry.... But do feel free to comment....

And ya all those guys who thought that this started really well and could have turned out into something better (if you know what I mean), sorry for the disappointment but you should have guessed better since an Indian is writing it....